Songs

After the first day of camp, we settled into a comfortable routine. Each morning was a rush to get the kids down to the dining hall for colors and the raising of the flag. Then we had breakfast.

Each meal had the same pattern. A scout for each table came early and helped set up. The scout was responsible for setting the table, getting the food and drinks. They also had to clear the table and clean up after the meal. This duty was rotated at each meal. (I was amazed when I got home and the first night called out that it was time to bus the table. My son had already cleaned up half the table before he realized we weren't at camp any more.)

Once the table was ready and food was out, they let in the rest of the scouts. This resulted in a minor stampede until all the seats were taken. After the meal, one of the counselors made the announcements...

This is where I learned that there was a bit of a rivalry between the kitchen crew and the counselors. (I also learned that I have a very low tolerance for camp songs.) The first time the counselor said he had some announcements, the head cook (I was surprised at how good the food was. I'd heard the horror stories from the parents that had gone the previous years. Truthfully, they did an excellent job. There was plenty of food and there were options for the kids that were picky eaters (my son) and special diets. While the food was good, it wasn't up to Gordon Ramsey's standards, so I can't use chef... Although there were some meals that would have rivaled the intensity of Hell's Kitchen, but when you get that many sleep deprived parents in one room there are bound to be tantrums.) sprang from the kitchen and began the announcements song. I must have missed when this was a top 40 song, because everyone immediately joined in. It goes like this:

Announcements, announcements annoooooouncments.

A terrible way to die

A terrible way to die

A terrible way to be talked to death

A terrible way to die.

Announcements, announcements annoooooooooooooooouncements

The first time I heard the song, it was catchy. The tenth time, I had an almost unbearable urge to stab the cook in the eye with a dull pencil. Since my son has been singing this particular song several times a day since we got back from camp, that urge has grown quite a bit.

After the announcements (Announcements, announcements, annoooooouncements—See? It's a Pavlovian thing now) all the counselors would get up on benches and sing at least one song. For me, this was the most enjoyable part of the meal.

Our troop had the tables nearest the kitchen. It was also the area in the dining hall with the most room. So, they always set the benches up near our tables. Now, these were old benches and not the most stable of structures. And when you have ten people precariously balanced and jumping around on them, it is very entertaining for the kids.

Remember the two mothers that each “broke” a foot so they wouldn't have to go swimming in the glacier filled pool? Well, since this was the area with most room, they tended to sit there too. (Something about not being able to squeeze between the tables to find a seat. As the kids say now-a-days, whatever...) Watching these two mothers constantly flinch and try to move their “broken” feet to safety every time the benches almost tipped over just about made up for the Announcements song.

After breakfast, there was the trek to swimming, fishing and boating. My son and a group of his friends always walked over together. It was a ten minute hike there and another ten minute hike back after lunch. For the five days we were there, they never ran out of topic to talk about. I say topic because apparently every kid is now playing Minecraft. (If you have a child and don't know what that is, count yourself lucky. If your child truly does not know what Minecraft is, turn off your internet connection now before it is too late.) I learned about all the evil characters (There's a special term for the characters, MOB.) and how to defeat them and what their strengths were. After a while, I tried to bring up Pokemon, so I would at least have an idea what they were talking about, but that was passé.

After lunch and more announcements (Announcements, announcements, annoooooooouncements) it was back to our camp site for crafts, sports, BB guns and archery. After those, we had a few minutes to relax before trekking back down the mountain for dinner.

The second evening of camp was when the head cook (already treading on thin ice) broke through and secured the position of most hated on my list.

You may not know it, but young boys have a reflex condition when in a group. If one does something and it gets the desired response, not only will that one boy repeat the action, but every other boy will also repeat that action. The louder the response, the longer and more intensely they will repeat the action.

This is an important fact when combined with a tradition at this particular camp. When ever someone said chili, everyone in the kitchen stopped what they were doing and yelled, “Chili? Did you say chili? HEY CHILI!” (At least this was a tradition for this particular cook. I really hope he gets on Hell's Kitchen. Somehow, I don't think Gordon Ramsey would find the humor in his whole kitchen staff yelling this.) Once one kid heard this, well... he just had to go back to the kitchen for something. Pretty soon there was a line of cub scouts at the kitchen entrance and a constant roar of “Chili? Did you say chili? Hey chili!”

That night, as the kids went to bed at the early hour of midnight, you'd hear the peaceful chirping of cub scouts in their native habitat. “Chili.”

“Did you say chili? HEY CHILI!” would echo from all the cabins. I really hate that cook.